Isn’t that always the case? Good news and bad news? Like peas and carrots.
I feel like a bad boyfriend. Stringing you along with hopes and dreams and no commitment.
Ha. I’m sure you’re all sleeping just fine at night:) Anyway, trust me, I long for the “commitment”. An end to the waiting. This situation we’ve been waiting in, at least.
Almost four years ago, and more seriously just two years ago, we started this process of Jason pursuing a doctorate program and it’s seemed like watching molasses dry or it’s moving as slow as paint-wait that’s not right-whatever- (finish thought, Ali)- the entire time. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had a million wonderful things happen during this journey, and I’m glad to have experienced those in Ashland. But when you’re trying to move on something you feel called to do, as a family, and it’s happening extremely slowly, you just want to be there- doing whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing.
Let’s talk about last Monday. March 26th. Mailman comes. Hi, mailman! I go out to get it. There is a large envelope from Catholic University of America. The last school. It’s from the Admissions Department.
“Momma, you running?!” shouts Miles, as I dash into the kitchen, find my phone and press #2 to speed-dial Jason.
“Something came from Admissions at Catholic U…”
“I’ll be home in two seconds…” Click!
Soon Jason was through the door and opening the envelope, the folder and then pulling out a piece of paper.
“I GOT IN!”
We hugged, we jumped, we yelled…I think we scared Miles, too, in the process. Amidst all the elation, Clementine was snoozing in her pack n’ play, not a care in the world. We didn’t have a care in the world either. Fourth time’s a charm!? We spent four days dreaming and talking about and sharing with our family about what our new life in DC could be like. All, let’s be honest, while we waited for word on funding to come back. We knew there were many combinations of what they might offer him, but we wanted to wait to share publicly until we found out what the full details were.
Friday we found out.
Nothing. They could offer him nothing in the the way of funding. No full tuition. No stipend to work in the department. No scholarships. He “wasn’t on the list”, they said. I kept thinking there must be a mistake. How could this happen? We waited so long and have been hoping for so long (by our definition of “long”) and we were in extremely high spirits all week then- crash. It was a Friday! Fridays are supposed to be awesome. Did this Friday not get the memo? Okay, God, how are you working through this? We were kind of hoping to have a clear answer, seeing that he was accepted. Now the water is all muddy again, now we are still pretty clueless on what to do. Do we do it anyway, and tack on another heaping student loan debt on top of what we already have? Do we call it quits on this “dream” of his? I asked him what he wants. Do you still want to teach someday? Yes. Then we need to keep after this.
He can potentially defer his enrollment for a semester, and see if funding becomes available in the meantime. The assistant dean said it’s possible for that to happen, but there are no guarantees. In the meantime, we’ve thrown many ideas out there, like maybe he could find an adjunct teaching job in the area or somewhere else. I have also been looking at jobs. In the DC area there are a handful of graphic design jobs I’d be qualified for, and also an intriguing job as a genealogist for the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution). There’s no education requirements, and I wonder if that type of thing would be a fit for me. It doesn’t hurt to try. Jason is encouraging me to just apply for a few jobs I think I’d enjoy or be good at and see what happens. We can always say no. It’s good to be pro-active.
We’re still keeping our house for sale- we can get an apartment in Ashland or elsewhere, at least if we were able to get him into a school (hopefully Catholic U) we could move quickly then and not still have a house for sale looming over us.
So that’s the scoop with us. Maybe in the next year I’ll finally be able to use this blog as a “here’s what’s happening in our day to day lives because we’re settled in somewhere and doing what we’re doing” and not “here’s the update on our situation and we still don’t know what the heck we’re doing- ever- so keep checking back and seeing no new news of us moving forward in anything, thanks for waiting and groaning with us…” We really have enjoyed much of our transitional year(s) here. Relationships have grown, we have a new baby we wouldn’t have been blessed with had we moved away last year, Jason has had more writing and research opportunities, the list goes on. Not to mention the humbling character building the “waiting” has been doing in us.
Something is happening, and we’ll be right where God wants us when it’s finally illuminated.
In the meantime, I am excited to say that in my little world, Miles is becoming potty trained, Clementine slept through the night the other night, Jason is taking me to see Titanic, and the 1940 census came out this morning and I can get free access to it for a week on Ancestry.com. YESSSSSSS.