Who doesn’t love a good Queen reference?
If you’re friends with Jason on the ol’ book o’ faces, you may have seen that he was rejected from Baylor last night. That’s the third no. Now waiting on Catholic University of America in DC.
I don’t really have much to say about it- those of you who pray for us- thank you, and continue to do so. We haven’t lost all hope or anything, and though part of the rejection stings (like any rejection would), part of it is relieving. The not knowing is somehow worse than the rejection. I just like knowing, so we can move on. So we can move forward. I know when people say to us “Just trust God,” they mean well and they mean it as encouragement. Frankly, we’ve never not trusted God through this process. That’s why we stepped out to do the whole thing in the first place. We don’t know the end result, we just felt called in this direction in the summer of 2010 and we moved on it. When you feel called to something, you don’t always know where it will lead, or if it’s even where you think it will lead. Sometimes you have to step out in faith when it doesn’t make sense, and when it continues not to make sense, and just keep being patient in it, through all the twists and turns, and one day it will make sense that this particular journey was the one you had to be on. We’re trusting God. We trusted God when we said “no” to the only acceptance last year. We trusted God when we then decided to try for baby #2. (It’s because we didn’t move last year that she even exists; we were going to put a hold on more babies until after a couple more years at our new location. So she is even here for a wonderful reason.) We’re trusting God while we know Jason’s job ends this summer. We’re going to keep trusting Him. It’s the fighting for control in the timing of this process that we sometimes suck at.
Timing is everything, and if we got the information exactly when we wanted it, it may not be the best thing for us. We get everything instantly, from our news to our communication with family, friends, to entertainment, food…that’s the society we live in. Being patient- being still- is not popular, nor is it easy in our culture. But sometimes circumstances force us into it, even if we are kicking and screaming through it from time to time. You begin to kick and scream less, and grow more, if you accept the season of waiting that you’re in. We don’t always do a good job of it, but we’re trying to breathe deeply, enjoy the moment we’re in and accept this season. It won’t last forever. There will be a new set of challenges in place of the ones we’re experiencing now, even when we do know all the details we can possibly know of our next adventure. Clarity won’t necessarily bring less stress or less chaos. It won’t mean that now life can be easy. I don’t think we ever thought that. Between curiosity and anxiousness, there is this excitement to see what the next chapter in our lives will be like, and I think we’d be weird if we weren’t curious or anxious about knowing the details that will affect us so greatly.
So we continue to wait (maybe gritting our teeth as we do it), but waiting nevertheless, because we know that that’s what we’re supposed to be doing right now. Just waiting. I know the waiting will be worth it, because aren’t all things that you do some amount of suffering through, worth it?