When You’re 9 Months Pregnant

This is purely the observations, a little advice, the opinions and/or experiences of the author. Much of it is tongue-in-cheek. Don’t get too worked up about it. It’s best to read in the mindset that the author is guilty of #1 in the “Socially” category. And that she’s also 9 months pregnant. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. 🙂

Physically:

1. Yes, waddling comes full swing this month. You would be waddling too, if you had a baby’s head lodging itself deeper into your pelvis each week. *Word of caution: Never look up “baby’s head in pelvis” on Google images. You’ll be disturbed. Or you could find it interesting, if you’re the medical type. Just warning you regardless.

2. You wonder when and how you’ll go into labor. Or, if you will come to it naturally at all. And then wondering how all of it will hurt.

3. You realize you’ve worked down to only having 2 or 3 shirts that fit well, and maybe one pair of pants if you’re lucky. Otherwise it’s pj pants. And there are no socks that don’t cut off your circulation and shows the swelling in your feet and legs.

4. Loving the peace and quiet of your yoga class, but praying that you don’t pass gas during that hour. And hoping you can just get off the floor after the floor stretches. Okay maybe that’s just me.

5. You look at your huge midsection in the mirror and gulp- THAT has to come out of you. And it all has a 10cm opening to do so. Double gulp.

6. At least the husband is the one having to look at all the blood and womb parts coming out of you- and the baby. Don’t put a mirror down there- I don’t want to see it! And clean that baby off at least partway before you plop it near my face! (if you couldn’t tell, I’m not good at handling natural, beautiful “grossness”!)

Emotionally:

1. You are torn because you are so uncomfortable with all the pregnancy symptoms that come in the last few weeks, so you want it to be over- yet you get used to being the pregnant one and wish some aspects of it could continue after it’s over. For example, the eating part (although, if your nursing you still have an excuse). You also get used to the movements of baby and may feel kind of empty when it’s out. There’s all this psychological stuff going on like, now does it need me? (of course it does!) Now am I still special? (of course you are!) Some people have these thoughts very fleeting and others have a rough time with them. Post-partum depression can happen to anyone and it looks different for everyone if it does occur.

2. You know it’s hormones and natural feelings of doubt, but you wonder how you will feel about your new baby. Or if you’ll know even what to do with it. If you’ve already had a baby or babies, then you wonder if you’ll remember what to do with it.

3. Most pregnant women are fully aware they are pregnant (except for, of course the ladies on I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant). I don’t need reminded I’m pregnant just because I vent how I feel sometimes. Sometimes I don’t feel good about myself, or pretty or useful. For crying out loud I can’t shave my legs without losing my balance or cutting myself, I can’t clip my toenails or paint them, and frankly, it’s getting tough to even see them. You’d think I’d have an easier time viewing them, seeing that my feet are wider and puffier than normal.

4. At this point the word “helpless” comes to mind. Obviously pregnant woman can do less and less of what they were used to doing- be it exercising, or taking care of other kids, lifting and moving things, or not having a belly that gets in the way with simple every day chores like washing dishes. And some of us try to keep doing it anyway. Then regret it. And emotionally that can take a toll! You may feel clumsy and ditsy (maybe more than normal). Feeling helplessness at this point is normal, but it doesn’t mean it’s not frustrating, or that you are wrong feel it. It’s hard work growing a whole person. You will and should be tired. Bottom line you have to humble yourself a bit, be less stubborn and ask for help, though it’s hard to wait on others to have the time to help you do those things you used to always do for yourself. I guess it’s just comforting to know that it won’t last forever.

Spiritually:

1. You pray to God that it won’t hurt. Or that at least you won’t have back labor. And if you do, you may pray for Jesus’ 2nd coming while you’re enduring it.

2. You may wonder why women still have the pain of childbirth (okay, before you go here, even with an epidural, it can still be painful before and after and sometimes during still!, not to mention the discomforts of the previous 8-9 months), but that men (at least many men these days) don’t have to toil and work the soil anymore. I know it crossed my mind.

Socially:

1. Much like losing sleep at night to use the bathroom, you lose more and more of your filter, finding yourself speaking up or saying things you may not normally say or share. Like some of these things on this list. Or semi-rude things you didn’t even realize sounded rude. Good thing your family and friends can laugh it off, because, if you didn’t know, you’re pregnant.

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