With only a month left before we have to technically give our “yes” or “no” answer to the last two schools, we still had no word. I voiced this frustration to Jason today when he came home around lunch time, seeing that neither the mailman nor the email man brought us any news still this morning. He apparently took my words as a call to action and emailed both UVA and Duquesne, asking (very politely) what the status of his application was.
We headed to my parents house to celebrate my brother-in-law’s birthday, and thought nothing more of it.
Once home, Miles already up the stairs, shutting all the bedroom doors, and standing tip toe on a basket of books attempting to shut off the little winnie-the-pooh lamp beside his bed, Jason went in the office to check his email. As I pulled Miles away from the accident waiting to happen, got him down to his diaper and socks, I hear from the other room, “I got rejected. UVA rejected me.”
I walked in and read the email with him, both of us not expecting his emails of this afternoon to produce a result so quickly, since it was obvious they weren’t in a rush up until now. “I’m sorry” I told him, and be both just stared at the computer screen. Meanwhile, half-naked Miles is plunging both arms into the toilet, along with helping a start of the roll of toilet paper into the water as well. After walking around like a baby Frankenstein monster, still trying to shut all the bedroom doors, this time with toilet water hands, I grabbed a soapy washcloth and cleaned him up. Jason and I tag-teamed the new diaper and pj’s, prayed with him, he kissed our cheeks and we laid him in his crib with his favorite two blankets and of course, Bear.
Jason said he’s disappointed, not devastated. I think I’m still processing. I think I’m numb after all this waiting. And after three say “no”, it’s pretty clear that God wants to make His plan clear to us. I think.
I mean, if we had two or three schools to decide from, it’s harder to know if it’s what you want or what God wants, right? But now that it’s up to Duquesne to say yes or no, what will it mean if they say no? Yes will be easy. We’ll go there. But if this door shuts, I don’t know what God will provide in it’s place. Provide, He will. But what? When?
That’s for us to find out another day, I guess. More waiting. What’s new. There are always other options. Just don’t ask me what. There are options and rumors of options for all I know. I think I’m just bummed because UVA meant an adventure outside of Ashland for a few short years. I always wanted us to make it back to Ashland, but for 2, 3, 4 years- it would have been nice to experience the beautiful city of Charlottesville, it’s art scene, it’s climate, it’s close distance to family we don’t see a whole lot- all of Jason’s family, and also my aunt and uncle in DC, my cousin in Charlotte, NC, my dear friend Lauren in DC; and it would have been a change of scenery. It was near to our hearts.
I think I just see the huge potential in my husband, too, and it makes me want to tell these schools, “your loss.” I know what he is capable of- no matter how hard the programs would be, he would put his whole heart into them, and he would excel. But they don’t know him. They look at papers with words on them from him and his referrals and decide. They look at standardized testing. They don’t know him. They don’t know how ambitious or driven he is. They don’t know what good he does. How smart he is or how passionate about community he is. I think I am taking it harder than he is. He’s too humble to say these things, but I know he is made for something great.
He’s joking “Et tu, UVA?” on this, the Ides of March, and I laughed, but it’s still disheartening. I know Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
We had an open house Sunday afternoon and three people (couples, groups, not sure), came through. I don’t know if that’s a lot or not. But our realtor said two showed some interest. Some interest. That might mean they thought it looked nice, or it was on their top 10 list, or maybe they’d keep it in mind. It’s early though, so I’m not worried. She said it showed very well. We fixed up and cleaned everything we could have possibly fixed and cleaned, and I thought the house looked pretty flippin’ good Sunday morning.
I think I’m making a crap-load of chocolate chip cookies tomorrow.